1. Dog food – It can be tempting to simply buy what’s on sale each time you go shopping for dog food, but this is never recommended. Your dog’s digestive system can be upset by constantly changing his food. What you want to do is start with a good, high-quality food, and if your dog seems to like it and tolerate it well, stick with it. There may come a time when you need to change your dog’s diet, such as if he develops some kind of medical condition or as he ages, but this should always be done under your veterinarian’s supervision.

2. Diet – A general guideline is to feed your dog 1 ½ cups of food for every twenty pounds of his ideal weight. For example, if your dog’s ideal weight is 60 lbs, then you should feed him 4 ½ cups of food per day. Don’t feed him according to his actual weight; if he is overweight you would be feeding him too much and if he is underweight you would be feeding him too little. If you follow this guideline and think that your dog is not maintaining a healthy weight, consult with your veterinarian about changing the amounts or even the type of food. As far as snacks go, you know that you’re going to give in now and then and let him have a treat, but try to keep that at a minimum. When you do give him snacks, try to make them as lean and healthy as possible. And no chocolate! Chocolate can be deadly for dogs.

3. Exercise – Your dog needs exercise just like you do, and even if you’re not too good about keeping up with your own fitness program, try to make sure your dog keeps up with his. You can kill two birds with one stone by walking your dog every day because you both will get exercise. If you can’t walk your dog every day, however, try to make sure that he will get exercise in other ways. Encourage others to play with him, throw balls for him, or walk him if they can. Set up play dates with other dogs. Do whatever you can to make sure that your dog gets enough activity every day.

4. Immunizations – Make absolutely sure that your dog gets his immunization shots when he needs them. They aren’t expensive, and you could save yourself a lot of grief down the road. Ask your veterinarian to let you know when any new immunizations are developed for dogs so you can decide whether you think your dog should have them or not.

5. Check-ups – Take your dog to the vet at least once a year for a full physical examination. If you don’t think you can afford to do this, then you can’t afford to have a dog. Though some medical problems can’t be predicted, a yearly physical can often alert you to possible problems with your dog that you can take steps to avoid, or that you can you treat early. This can end up saving you a lot of money, and vet bills can add up quickly. If you notice any change in your dog’s behavior, or anything that concerns you such as a cough or a growth on the skin, at least call the vet. Don’t wait until something gets more serious than it needs to be before doing something about it.

6. Safety – Your dog needs to be protected from the outside world. Make sure that your dog is on a leash when he goes out, or is in a secure yard that he can’t get out of. If your dog isn’t used to being around small children, only let him be around them under close supervision, if at all. Children can get too excited when they see a dog and may play too roughly, and this can frighten your dog. This can lead to biting. If you are taking your dog traveling in the car with you, put him in a comfortable crate that is secured to something. There are also special harnesses for dogs that can be attached to seat belts.

7. Spay or Neuter – Unless you are a registered breeder, please spay or neuter your dog before he or she produces offspring. Not only is this the responsible thing to do so that you don’t add to the problem of unwanted pets; it is also healthier for your dog. Dogs that have not been spayed or neutered are more likely to try to run away. The male dogs are more likely to fight and be aggressive. Both females and males will have less potential health problems.

8. Training – Yes, training can be healthy for your dog, both mentally and physically. When a dog is properly trained he knows what is expected of him, and this can cut way down on anxiety. Also, if your dog is trained in basic commands, such as ’sit’, ’stay’, and ‘come’, he is less likely to get into trouble or into dangerous situations.

9. His own place – Make sure that your dog has an area where he can be undisturbed. Though dogs are pack animals and prefer to be close to their families, they still like having a certain place that is all their own. A dog bed under a counter, a doghouse in the backyard, a special blanket. When your dog is in his special place, make sure he is left alone to rest. Enough rest is as important for your dog’s health as it is for yours.

10. Love – Loving your dog is healthy for him. Play with him, hug him, talk to him—he will flourish in the attention and be calmer and more self-assured. If you don’t have time to give a dog the love and attention he needs, you don’t have time for a dog at all.

It doesn’t take much to make a dog happy, but it takes a sense of responsibility to keep him healthy. Decide before you ever get a dog if you are up to this responsibility. If you are, then you will be rewarded with years of love and companionship.

It should go without saying (but it’ll be said anyway) that you should never assume that a hotel or motel will accept dogs. Arriving at the hotel you’ve booked for two weeks and finding out that your pooch isn’t welcome can really put a damper on what started out as a great trip. Weeks before your trip, choose some hotels and motels that you find suitable in the area that you’ll be visiting and contact each one. You might be able to save yourself some time by going to www.officialpethotels.com. This helpful website lists pet-friendly hotels in areas all over the country. Make a list of hotels and motels that allow pets, then call them and ask about their pet policies. Some will have stipulations such as only dogs under a certain size. There may be an extra charge for pets, too. What you want to do is speak with every hotel and motel on your list. Make a separate list for each of them. On each list, put any rules and restrictions they have for pets, and any extra charges. Once you can compare these lists, you can choose and book the right place for you and your beloved buddy to enjoy your trip together.

Be sure that your dog arrives at the hotel or motel well-prepared. You’ll need to bring along a comfortable crate. There may be a time when you need to leave your dog in the hotel or motel room, and you need to remember that he is going to be in unfamiliar surroundings. Leave him alone for any period of time in those unfamiliar surroundings and he may resort to some behavior that you’re not used to seeing at home. This behavior may include excessive barking, chewing, digging at the carpet, scratching at the door, or urinating or defecating in the room. It’s not pretty, and it really doesn’t go over well with the hotel or motel staff. If you need to leave your dog in the hotel or motel room alone for a period of time, it’s best to take him out to potty first then put him in a crate with his favorite blanket or pillow. You’ll be doing yourself, the hotel or motel, and your dog a favor. If he has a lot of room to freak out while you’re gone, he’s more likely to injure himself than if he’s confined to a crate. And please, be gone for as short a time as possible.

Of course you want to bring along his regular food and his favorite toys, and make sure that he still gets to watch his favorite programs on TV. Some dogs try never to miss “The Dog Whisperer”. Also, you want to bring along plenty of plastic bags, plastic gloves, and a scooper for poop-patrol. Some hotels and motels have designated areas for taking dogs to relieve themselves, but they still appreciate it if you clean up the poop and dispose of it properly. It’s the age of political correctness, after all; plus it’s just plain good manners.

It’s actually a great idea to get your dog used to traveling as early as possible and as often as possible. If your dog travels with you on a regular basis and stays with you in different kinds of places, he comes to see it as a normal thing. This cuts way down on anxiety, and makes him a more pleasant travel partner. He may even come in handy when you need someone to consult with about what to order from room service.

To help with our canine quandary, we skipped the Wikipedia and Google searches and went straight to a real, live vet: Jesse Fallon, MS, DDM, who practices in Southwest Virginia. What we found were problems that ranged from the irresponsible to the deadly, the painful to the plain. From the most common to the least, are the top five troubles we bother our vets with:

1. Dog Allergies:
That’s right, your sneezing and scratching dog may not just be making noise–these symptoms may be the sign of a real allergic reaction in the home.

“Pollen, dust mites or food, it’s very similar to people allergies,“ said Fallon, “the symptoms manifest as itchy skin. Dogs can be allergic to anything, including the same things that people are allergic to.”

This common problem proves to be a tricky one, though. “It’s a hard disease to diagnose and treat, though we usually treat for the itchiness,” he said, “You can do de-sensitization therapy if you can pinpoint what the trouble is, and you can prescribe anti-histamines. Or, you can get a blood test for allergies.”

This begs a question–if allergies are so common today, how did the dogs of the good old days survive their allergies? After all, regular vet visits have become a common occurrence only in the latter part of the 20th century, and people have been owning dogs for thousands of years longer than that.

“In the wild, nature selects against allergies,” explained Fallon, “The dog that has the allergy doesn’t have as much time to look for food and such. We see it a lot today because we perpetuate inbreeding with specialized breeds.”

2. Obesity:
Every year, more and more dogs suffer from this slow and silent killer.

“A lot of pets have it, and, of course, they have their owners to blame. Just like people, many American dogs don’t get enough exercise,” said Fallon, “With obesity, you are predisposed to diabetes, joint disease is a bigger problems and the dog is at risk for many other kinds of orthopedic problems.”

Now, the tough part. We know when we are fat, but how can we tell if our dog is fat?

“You can just take a real, serious look at them. Your dog should have a recognizable waste and you should be able to feel the ribs but not see them. That’s the best weight,” he said.

What if you dog comes up on the chubby side or seems to be giving into his pork potential?

“You put them on a diet, just like a person,“ Fallon said, “Limit feeding to once or twice a day and use a measuring cup. Don’t leave food out all day and take the food away.”

3. Dietary Indiscretion:
Sounds scientific, right? It really isn’t. From digging in the trash to wolfing down your leftovers, this dog behavior brings plenty of pooches to the vet’s office.

“The dog is not used to eating huge quantities of human food,” Fallon said, “Diarrhea or vomiting is frequent. This isn’t a life threatening disorder, but can disrupt your household if your dog is vomiting all over the carpet or the sofa.”

So, Rover just ate a big plate of meatloaf and is showing off his gratitude by giving the meatloaf back to you, after a thorough chewing, all over your new carpet. What do you do?

“Your treatment would be to not feed him for 12 to 24 hours and give him plenty of water,” he said, “You just let their gastro-intestinal track rest. I don’t recommend Pepto-Bismol; the problem isn’t something abnormal in the digestive tract, it’s that you introduced something they are not used to. Just resting is the best medicine.”

Oh, and lay off the meatloaf.

4. Orthopedic Problems:
Regardless of whether your dog has seen better days or has dreaded genetic problems, trouble with the joints can spell a painful end for our favorite pet. While some can be treated, many orthopedic problems finish up very badly for dogs.

“This can be hip displaysia or ligament damage,” said Fallon, “These type of problems are more common in larger dogs, but it also can just be arthritis associated with age changes.”

Purebred dogs can be much more at risk for inherited problems, but all dogs, eventually, can come down with bad arthritis, just like old people. Trouble getting up and down the stairs, getting up after a nap or trouble moving are all signs of orthopedic problems.

If you think that your dog could be suffering, what do you do? Aside from costly surgery, is there anything that can be done to help our aging companions?

“Generally, controlled exercise is good for most orthopedic diseases as well as keeping them at a proper weight in preventing or delaying problems,” said Fallon, “Obesity can contribute to this. Some things are unavoidable. Arthritis that sets in as our dogs live longer lives, then they are more likely to develop these problems. Some have to be treated medically, and arthritis is treated with pain medication. But don’t start giving painkillers at home, take the dog to the vet and get diagnosed.”

5. Toxicity:
Also known as good, old-fashioned poisoning, this most deadly of our top five is also the problem seen the least.

“Dogs eat prescription meds, antifreeze, insecticides and rodent poison–these are all common. If you know your dog has eaten something, you need to get to the vet immediately.”

But how can we tell that poison is the culprit and not number three on our list, dietary indiscretion? How can a dog owner tell the difference between Fido eating rat poison and Fido eating a foot long sub?

“Generally, with indiscretion, the dog will be acting more normal,” Fallon said, “In toxicity, you will see the evidence; you will see a medicine bottle chewed up or the rat trap eaten, or the dog is just not acting right.”

“If there is any doubt, you should go to the vet. You need to get somewhere ASAP,“ Fallon cautions, “Don’t wait, especially if you know they’ve eaten something. The easiest thing is to get the dog to vomit quickly, since it doesn’t absorb as much of the poison. Some drugs that aren’t toxic to people, like Tylenol or Advil, but can be very toxic to dogs.”

For poisoning, or any of this top five list, Fallon gives some stern advice: “The big thing is, all of these things are treatable, if the dog gets to the vet in time. Remember, we see these type of things all of the time. We know what to do in regards to diagnosis and treatment.”

A couple of weeks before you go on your road trip, take your dog to the veterinarian for a complete check up. The last place that you want to be dealing with a sick pet (other than a carsick pet, which simply happens sometimes…sorry) is while you are on vacation. It’s probably the last place that your dog wants to be feeling sick, too. Get a clean bill of health from the vet for your dog, or clear up any problems he finds before you leave. Make sure all your dog’s vaccinations are up to date also. You never know when proof of that may be required. You can also ask your vet if there is anything you can give your dog for carsickness, just in case.

One of the most important things you can do before you go, if you haven’t already, is get an identification microchip implanted under your dog’s skin. If your vet doesn’t have the technology to do it, your local animal shelter should be able to help. If your dog gets separated from you during your trip and is turned into an animal shelter, they will scan it for the chip and get the contact information stored in it. Do this in addition to a collar and identification tags. This can save you a lot of possible grief.

Bring along a comfortable crate for your dog to ride in; one that gives him plenty of room to stand and turn. The image of the happy, smiling dog with his head out the car window and his ears flapping in the breeze is a pleasant one, but stop and think about that for a minute. Would you let your kids ride that way? It’s probably a good bet that you love your dog and want him to be safe. Riding in a comfortable crate that is secured so that it doesn’t slide around is safer for your dog and everyone else in the car. An alternative to the secured crate would be a special harness for your dog that fits onto the seat belt. This keeps your dog harnessed in safely and allows him a good view. If you choose to have your dog in the harness while in the car, it’s still a good idea to bring along the crate. Naps are often more comfortable for your dog in a crate.

Make a list of what you need for your dog about a week before you leave, and add to it when things come to mind. Check things off the list right before you go. You want to bring his favorite food, favorite blanket, and favorite toys. Don’t go changing anything on him now; it’s not the time! He wants familiarity. Don’t forget to bring enough bottled water for everyone, and that includes the dog. Don’t make anyone fight for water; that can put a damper on the whole trip.

If you’re driving in hot weather, keep your air conditioner on always. No exceptions. It may decrease your gas mileage, but your dog’s welfare depends on it. He is more uncomfortable than you in hot weather; and getting overheated is not only miserable for him, it’s dangerous. Never, ever leave your dog in a parked car in the heat, whether you have the windows down or not. Not even if you are standing right next to the car. If you are standing next to it and it is running and the AC is on, that’s fine, but make sure your dog is harnessed in and isn’t able to roam around the car. You really don’t want to watch your car drive away without you after Fido kicks it into drive, do you?

A road trip with your dog can be a great experience. He will love being included in the vacation, and you and anyone with you will love the company. Follow the common sense rules about keeping your dog safe and comfortable and everyone should have a wonderful trip.

10. Max – He is willing to do anything for his master, even if his master is a grinch. I always feel so sorry for Max when the Grinch ties that antler on his head. The poor thing looks so pathetic. He is a good sport, and doesn’t seem to mind being humiliated. Max is a good choice for people who like to dress up their pets.

9. Dino – While he is technically not a dog, he acts like one on TV’s The Flintstones. Dino is the prehistoric version of man’s best friend. He is always happy to see everyone, just look at the way he drools and slobbers over Fred when he gets home from work. And, think of all the gas you could save by having Dino around to lift you from place to place.

8. Astro – Ruh Roh. Although the Jetson’s dog is big, dumb, and sometimes lazy, he is very protective of his boy Elroy. Plus, he is a perfect exercise companion since he already knows how to use a treadmill.

7. Lady – This lovable cocker spaniel from Lady & The Tramp is the only female dog on this list. This little lady will do whatever it takes to protect her family whether fish, fowl or human. All she wants in return is love and attention. Just keep her away from strays.

6. Odie – Garfield’s nemesis is just another dumb dog who is content with just being Odie. He doesn’t have any special talents, he just an endearing animal who doesn’t mind that the cat runs the household.

5. Hong Kong Phooey – Remember this mild-mannered janitor turned Kung Fu master when there is trouble? He is another perfect dog. He can protect you from the bad guys and clean up after himself when he’s done.

4. Brian Griffin – I would love to own Brian. Who wouldn’t want a dog who can take care of himself? He can walk on two legs, carry on a conversation and even drive a car. He’ll even earn his own money if he has to. Plus, he is funny as hell.

3. Scooby Doo – Wouldn’t you just love to cuddle with everyone’s favorite scaredy-dog? You would have to be braver than he is to own him though, since he jumps at every noise.

2. Snoopy – This beloved beagle of Peanuts fame would be an awesome pet. He is smart, talented and imaginative, and he loves to dance.

1. Underdog is the top dog, hands down. The animated Underdog that is, not the lame movie excuse for this cartoon classic. There’s no need to fear if Underdog is in your house. While he might cause a little chaos while he’s at it, he’ll fight villains, save damsels in distress, and even shine your shoes.

First of all, spare no expense. Never try to cut costs when it comes to transporting your dog on a plane. This is not the time to look for a bargain. It may turn out that you spend more money for your dog’s plane travel than for your own—but it can be worth it if it means a safe and stress-free trip for your pet. Also, you need to plan your dog’s trip as far in advance as possible to make sure that all the details are covered.

Consider a pet travel agent. In fact, don’t just consider it, seriously consider it! A reputable pet travel agency will help you plan your dog’s plane travel from beginning to end. They will know details about pet plane travel that you hadn’t even thought of. They will also have sound advice about what you need to do before your dog ever gets on the plane, and what to do once your dog’s plane lands. What these people know and the connections they have can be invaluable to you. There is an organization called Independent Pet and Animal Transportation Association International that has members who are professionals dedicated to ensuring safe plane travel for pets. These include pet travel agencies, veterinarians, and kennel owners. Their website address is http://www.ipata.com, and it is a great place to start for finding people that can help you transport your dog by plane.

You know your dog better than anyone, and you need to use this knowledge to figure out how to make his trip as stress-free as possible. If your dog has a favorite toy, you might consider letting him travel with it, as long as it wouldn’t be dangerous to your dog in rough turbulence. If there is a blanket that your dog is used to sleeping on, you could put it on the bottom of the crate that he will be transported in. Along with this, you could also put in a pullover shirt that you’ve worn so that your dog will have your scent with him. Of course, you want to make sure that he has a sturdy, comfortable crate for traveling. None of these things are over the top—they are the least you can do to minimize your dog’s stress in an unfamiliar environment.

Take your dog to the vet no more than two weeks before his trip. If he’s current on his rabies shot, make sure you have the certificate. Get him his shot and certificate if he needs one. Have the vet give him a complete physical examination. If your pet has any health problems, you need to know about them and get treatment for them before he travels. It’s usually not a good idea to ask the vet for tranquilizers for your pet’s trip. Though tranquilizers may seem like a good idea at first, it really is better for your pet to be awake and alert during his trip so his health and welfare can be monitored properly. Of course, whether you are traveling within your own country or overseas, you need to know the laws about transporting a pet in the place where he’ll be going. Some states and most foreign countries have strict rules, often including quarantine.

Do everything that you can to ensure that your dog’s plane travel will be safe and as incident-free as possible, and not only will your dog be happier, so will you!

You’ve seen the end caps filled with bright, tiny little Halloween costumes, spooky witch hats, darling fairy costumes, some you may even envision looking good on yourself.

Why do people do this? Is it because we feel it is our duty to make our pets feel they are part of our family at any length? Is it the thrill of dressing your pup in an outfit that he normally wouldn’t sport walking down the street? Let’s face it. When is the last time you saw a dog with red horns on the top of his head? Or how about a bright orange pumpkin with four legs?

Yes, you guessed correct, Devil and pumpkin pet costumes are the most popular choices of Halloween 2008. Witches, Princesses and Angels aren’t too far behind.

According to a study Wal-Mart conducted in 2007, 7% of dog lovers purchase Halloween costumes for their furry four legged friends. The number is expected to be even higher this year.

I wonder who will hold the doggy bag when the pups go “barking” for Halloween Tricks or Treats?

So it was only a matter of time before man’s canine companion got his own shiny, pretty, and useful set of toys to play with. Here is my selection of top 7 geeky dog gadgets.

The Chatterbowl – feel bad for leaving your pup alone? Chatterbowl allows you to record a message (up to 10 seconds). Every time your pup goes to have a drink of water the message will play out for him so he can be soothed by your voice.

iSeePet360 – now this is one serious gizmo, and certainly a step above the Chatterbowl. No matter where you travel, this pet feeder can be accessed through a USB computer connection, it can be programmed to dispense food up to 8 times a day, 7 day a week AND you get a webcam too so you can monitor your pooch. While I would not dare to leave my dog unattended for long periods of time, this is still one nifty gadget.

Pets Eye View digital camera – this particular gizmo might be more for the pet owner kicks, but that does not make it any less cool. If you’ve ever wondered how your dog observes the world, with Pets Eye View digital camera you can stop wondering. It can be programmed to take snaps every minute, 5 minutes or 15 minutes and then via an USB cable you can transfer the photos to the computer.

Autoelex Luxury Pet House – a pet house unlike any you’ve ever seen before, and a perfect choice if you want to spoil your pooch rotten. Autoelex Luxury Pet House comes equipped with carbon heating walls that will keep your pet nice and warm, antibiotic air that kills of any potential germs, carbon filter based deodorizing to combat any pooch smells and PC managed controls. And you thought any ordinary dog house will do, ha?

Visiglo Lighted Leash – this particular product could come with a slogan – when an ordinary leash just isn’t good enough. Equipped with on/off switch it will enable both you and your pooch to be safe in the dark. Not to mention, you’re both bound to be a hit in the doggy park with such stylish and fun leash.

PetZen’s Dog treadmill – worried that your pup is not getting enough exercise? Bad weather conditions preventing you from going outside regularly and walking the dog? There’s no reason why your dog should not get all the exercise he/she might need with this Dog treadmill. It’s to be noted, it’s especially designed for smaller dogs and time and distance as well as adjustable incline can be programmed. One thing is for sure, it’s bound to burn off all of that excess energy. Not to mention in all probability your dog will use this more regularly then you use your gym card.

Talk to Me Cosmic Treatball dog toy – a smart kind of dog toy, Talk to Me Cosmic Treatball should give your dog hours of fun. It’s equipped with motion detectors so it can dispense treats, but it also triggers personal messages to your dog (that you can pre-record earlier) and and LED light show. Well that is bound to give your dog hours of entertainment, it might even make him feel he is in a doggy disco with the flashing lights and all.

1. VIRTUALLY PAINLESS

Here are the facts: puppies come from pet stores. Babies come from, well, not pet stores. Bringing a dog into your world is as simple as scoping out an ad in the paper or visiting a nearby pet store or animal shelter and handing over some cash. In case you haven’t heard, bringing a baby into the world is not so simple. Plus, as an added bonus, purchasing a puppy will not result in excessive weight gain, bloating, fatigue or nausea.

2. FREEDOM OF CHOICE

Let’s face it. Not all babies are created equal. To be quite honest, some babies are ugly. Worse, once they arrive, you don’t have the luxury of putting them back and waiting for a cuter version. With dogs, you’ve got your pick of the litter. Literally. Before ever bringing a dog into your home, you get to approve it that it lives up to your standards of attractiveness. And even if you weren’t blessed with the best genetic makeup, that shouldn’t hamper your ability to own the cutest dog in your neighborhood.

3. MORE COST-EFFECTIVE

Everyone always talks about how expensive it is to get a dog. You’ve got to pay for vaccinations, check-ups, neutering and so on. Sure, when you first buy a puppy, there are some required expenses, but I guarantee that in eighteen years, your dog isn’t going to expect you to pay for their higher education, nor will they demand a car on their sixteenth birthday or beg for spending money to go to the mall. They want you to feed them and hang out with them. That’s it. And that’s all they’re ever going to expect from you. In these difficult economic times, the financially responsible decision is to choose a dog over a child.

4. CLEANER

It’s a proven fact that dogs are cleaner than kids. I’m not sure who proved it but I feel in my heart that it’s true. With determination, you can have a puppy house-broken in two weeks. Kids take about two years, which means you, as the parent, are the one responsible for cleaning up their bodily functions. And sure, dogs do vomit from time to time (although it’s typically very rare) but they would never dream of doing it down the front of your shirt. In public, no less. And I have never once heard a dog owner complain about their canine coloring their walls or furniture with permanent marker.

5. LESS SUPERVISION

One word: kennel. Dogs don’t require constant supervision. You can leave for hours at a time without the slightest concern for your dog’s well being because he’s resting safely inside his kennel, plus you never have to worry about the hassles of finding and paying for a babysitter. And really, what is a crib if not a giant, open-roofed kennel? But just try to leave your kid in there while you run to the supermarket or head out to a movie and see how people react. Two words: Social Services.

6. UNCONDITIONAL LOVE

Unlike kids, the older your dog gets, the deeper his love and commitment towards you grows. Dogs don’t go through hormonal teen years where they see you as the enemy. You have my guarantee that your dog will never scream in your face, slam the door and/or blast emo music from his bedroom. Dogs don’t talk back, blame you for all their problems in life or talk about your inadequacies to their therapists.

7. SELF-SUFFICIENT

When kids come into the world, they can’t do anything for themselves. They are little squishy balls of nothingness. They don’t know how to walk, talk, eat, or go to the bathroom on their own. You have to teach them everything. Dogs are quite different. Even if you get a newborn puppy, it comes knowing how to walk, eat, and go to the bathroom (although it will be up to you to teach it where to go to the bathroom). It sleeps through the night, eats when you tell it to and has no qualms running around the yard for hours on end while you’re busy with something more important.

So if you’ve reached that uncertain crossroads in life and you’re wondering how to make your life more complete, make the obvious choice. Run, don’t walk, to the pet store! And maybe stop to pick up some birth control on the way…

“Best” and “Worst” lists are not uncommon in the celebrity world; so let me present my list of the 5 Worst Celebrity Dogs.

1. Purse Dogs - Topping my list is any breed of purse dog, owned by a myriad of celebrities. Sure, they are cute, and there’s a certain “aw” factor, but dogs are dogs. They’re not accessories. No matter what their size, they’re not on this planet to make celebrities look good. Did you know that not long ago paparazzi caught Paris Hilton without a purse pup, and she tried to buy one just to make the photos cuter? Luckily the pet store refused to sell her the dog. Check the bottom of your bag, Paris. There may be a pup in there you forgot about.

I’m not telling you to stay away from small dogs. Small dogs are great. Just get one because you want it for companionship, not because it’s the latest trend.

2. Chihuahuas owned by male celebrities - Adrien Brody and Brendan Fraser have both owned Chihuahuas. Chihuahuas are one of the least manly dogs out there. Yet, these manly men have owned them. I don’t know, there’s something odd about seeing a big strapping man with a little hyper dog.

3. Bulldogs - Did you know that Bulldogs are one of the most flatulent breeds of dogs? Maybe that’s why so many men have them. Adam Sandler loves bulldogs. He’s had Meatball, Matzoball, and now Babu. I know from experience just how gassy bulldogs are. We had a beautiful English Bulldog named Churchill when I was growing up. We’d be in the family room watching TV after supper, and the air would be suddenly filled with this horrible smell. My brother and I would blame my dad; my dad would blame the dog. We came to find out it really was the dog. Boy, those were some nasty farts.

4. Designer dogs - are hybrid pooches such as Morkies, Maltipoos, Puggles, Labradoodles – the list goes on and on. Again, there’s an “aw” factor associated with designer dogs just like with purse dogs. I don’t understand what all this crossbreeding is about. What’s wrong with a plain ol’ poodle? It seems that designer dogs can’t walk either. I’ve never seen Blake Lively’s Maltipoo on the ground. I’m not even sure she’s got a real dog. It looks like a stuffed toy.

5. German Shepherds - Coming in at number 5 is a real bad dog, Jennifer Lopez’s German Shepherd guard dog Floyd. On a flight to Los Angeles earlier this year, Floyd nipped at a flight attendant, resulting in a $5 million lawsuit against Lopez.

I feel sorry for the dogs of celebrities. Some of these poor animals are in the limelight almost as much as their famous owners. Like us, most celebrities choose their dogs for companionship. Because they are famous, their dogs are too, whether they like it or not.